The story of my ex-employer
.....first story in the series about by startup experiences.....

I've consciously avoided blogs on my startup. So that I can for once distract myself from what I think all the time.   However now I'm thinking, whats wrong with that? Anyway my startup is like 80% of my life and I love that part of my life. Also I've lot of stories to tell about startup experience.  So inspired from Julie of movie Julie & Julia that I saw yesterday,  I've decided to tell one story each week related to my startup.


As the title suggests, the first story is about my ex-employer,  Minda Industries.  After graduating from engineering college I joined an automobile components company:  Minda horn division.  They manufacture automobile horns,  which has a big market in India since we Indians are so horny when it comes to horns.  In-fact India has kind of emerged as a global hub for horn manufacturing since quality of Indian horns is bound to be good.  So it was an interesting product and an interesting market.  I worked there for a year & a half.  It was my first job,  and I learned a lot about industry during that time.  My job profile was to introduce R&D activities in the company.  It was a job profile given to me since I came from elite IIT university and the CEO of that company Mr. J.K. Menon was also from IIT.  To some level I was seen at par with CEO.  Expectations were high from me.  I liked the respect I got from everyone there,  also it gave me lot of freedom to do things the way I want to do.  Due to this freedom,  I had reasonable success in my role as R&D head.  I developed a rather complicated mathematical model for working of horn.  Also innovated 2 new kind of horns and filed patent for them.  This was the first time I had applied my study to some sort of practical application.  I also realized that "simulation" is the key technology that can be used for industrial R&D.  So the vague idea of starting a startup around the concept of simulation came to my head.  My startup's business plan and ideas have refined alot in last five years but basic concept of simulation has remained as the core.
 I also met lot of interesting people during my stint.  Mr. JK Menon, became my idol with regard to business ethics and professional mannerism.  He appreciated my Idea of startup and infact Minda became my startup's first client.  While leaving Minda I was able to maintain a very nice professional relationship with everyone in the company and that has helped me alot.  Also two of the first employees in my startup are also from Minda. Ranjan and Jatin are two clearheaded nice guys,  I met in Minda.  They were not able to work to their potential due to Dilbert kind pointed haired mid-management bullshit.  They joined me in my startup,  and have been great support in my startup journey.  They say,  the success of startup depends on first 10 employees.  Minda provided three for my startup Ranjan,  Jatin & me,  so it was a big contribution without doubt.

In hindsight if I see,  it was a pure co-incidence that I was working in Minda. But it helped me alot in my startup.  Like:

1.  It provided me with an understanding of industry, so that I can market my startup to this kind of industry later.

2.  It provided me with the business idea.

3.  It became my first client and continues to be one after five years.

4.  It introduced me to two of my team mates and good friends in my startup Journey.

5.  My colleagues from Minda have joined various companies since that time and have also provided business for my startup from other companies.

6.  It introduced me to mid-management problems in big companies.

7.  It helped me learn the importance of freedom and decentralization of responsibility.  Which are the key guiding principles for the work culture in my startup.

I would also give some credit to myself to be able to extract required help from them and that situation.  Its been five years since my association with Minda.  Initially they were our star client.  Slowly and steadily they have become our fringe client.  The amount of business they give has become insignificant.  Its obviously ethical for us to have good relationship with them even if the business proportion is less.  But I'll have to say that it is becoming increasingly difficult.  I'm not sure how to deal with this situation.  In terms of pure business,  it makes sense for us to move ahead from Minda.  However the emotional attachment makes it harder.

Trek to Dodital
.....About a small trek on this lonely planet.....

Day 1
Nothing much for the first day. Just needed to catch a train at 11:30 in night from Delhi to Haridwar. Which train it was........I can't remember. I do remember, it was a comfortable train and I was traveling with Harsh, Varun and Kiran. I had rented (actually other guys had rented for me) the rucksacks,sleeping bag, and tent from some Caribbean travels in Okhla (Ph no: Will post soon, let me ask Harsh). Rs. 20 per item per day for sleeping bag, Rs. 20 for Rucksack and Rs. 30 per day for tents. Really economical. Harsh and party had also bought some one million packs of maggie, cup-noodle and why-why noodle (please don't ask me why is why-why named as why-why, I seriously have no idea). I was handed over my quota of noodles to carry. I really didn't liked that coz :
1) I hate the taste of noodles or any other chinese food
2) Apart from being tasteless, they are also unhealthy.
3) I knew you can get stuff like aalo parantha, bread omelette, maggie and their various combinations in remotest of the treks.
4) And obviously I hate to carry extra weight on my shoulders.

Guys had bought that stuff to be on the safe side. Harsh Vardhan has got immaculate planning skills and he had covered all the risk factors. I feel much safe and relaxed, when I'm traveling with him. In this trip he had planned with maggie who is a trek expert himself and also maggie is totally vella these days so he had lot of time to do background study as well. I'm a horrible planner myself and did not wanted to interfere in planning of an expert team by providing unwelcome suggestions, so I decided to keep my displeasure regarding those noodles to myself. I quietly kept the stuff in my rucksack along with other stuff. Yes.....one thing I must mention for everyone's benefit. Don't smoke on railway station. Harsh, who was absolutely eager to smoke without having to see irritated face of Aarti, had to pay a fine of Rs. 100 on Railway station.


Day 2
The group for the trek was surprisingly large. Total of eight people. 3R's of the group Rajat, Ritesh and Rajdeep came to Rishikesh by bus. The time of their arrival in Haridwar was strikingly tuned with our train arrival. We met outside the station. Railway station and Bus Stand in Haridwar are next to each other. We boarded the bus to Rishikesh and then took a taxi to reach Chummi's place at around 5 in the morning. There we took about an hour to freshen up. Maggie was in Rishikesh since last evening and had booked a taxi which arrived at 6:30 A.M. There were lot of Baniyas in the group and it was rather surprising that I was the only one who had not carrying the requisite amount of cash. So we went to ATM, while I was withdrawing cash guys bought some bananas. I ate one and as is usually the case while traveling in SUV's in group I took the back most seat. I think its not a good idea to eat bananas while traveling in hills. Usually I don't face any problem in traveling but that day I felt vomity. I took a medicine for vomit and quickly vomited it out. Guys took out their cameras and clicked the moment. I dont like to post photographs on blog, also I'm not sure how its done so - no graphic display of vomiting me.
We took a detour to visit Tehri Dam. A group of engineer would always be interested in seeing mammoth structure even if they cant understand its functioning or significance. We also got the phrase for the trip "Damn the Dam" due to that visit and the phrase was repeated approximately two thousand eight hundred ninety four times during the trip.


On reaching Uttarkashi, we checked in guest house by GMVN. Fantastic rooms of good size and clean restrooms. A suite (with two rooms, for four people) was Rs. 900 per night. Quite economical. The guest house was practically on the river shore. Kiran and I decided to take a bath in the river. On reaching the shore we realised that it was not such a good idea, water was really dirty. So we took some snaps on large rock, threw few stones in the river, came back to room, had few pegs of whiskey and slept.

Day 3
This was the most challenging and interesting day of the trip. We started trek from sangam chitti and climbed up 16KM's to Manjhi. Camped at night in Manjhi, drank some brandy beside a bonfire and slept in tents. This was also the day when a giant named harsh vardhan astonished everyone with his stamina and determination. Motorable road terminated at sangamchitti, and the trek started. Our initial plan was to reach a village named 'Agora' which was around 6 KM. We reached Agora at around 11AM, thats the time I usually reach office. Clearly not much sense in spending the day there. We kept walking, each one was walking at their own pace. Harsh Vardhan was well ahead of everyone. He was accompanied by Kiran, who was clearly facing difficulty in matching Harsh's pace but wanted to be ahead of everyone. Me and Maggie behind them, hanging out with our similarly sized beer bellies. We were followed by Rajat and Ritesh, who apart from the usual stuff were carrying 15 variety of glucose, 5 types of cameras, 3 varieties of Sunscreen and as was revealed later on the trek a lot of emotional baggage. The trip after Agora to Manjhi was amazingly beautiful. The hills became more and more picturesque as we kept going up. The trek was also proving to me a test of physical and mental fitness. I believe the capacity to climb is more related to mind than body. I distinctly remember my first trek when I felt I just can not do it. It was the trek to Tapovan above Gomukh. In the starting phase of the trek itself I had completely given up but was pestered by Maggies and Jaini to continue. As I completed that trek eventually I realised its quite possible if you dont loose your heart. When I saw Varun become absolutely crestfallen on this trek I remembered my first trek. Varun and the sardar were the last two members on the trail. That was actually another reason for them to feel tired. When you know that you are not performing as well as everyone else it really breaks your morale. However those guys also kept going despite the various mental blockage. I'm sure in future treks they would be more confident and have more belief in themselves. We reached the destination, Manjhi between 5 PM and 6 PM. There was not much difference between the first person and the last person. Manjhi was a small village but without any villagers. Perhaps they go further up to make money from tourists during summers and come back for winters. It was however a very beautiful village on the hill. There was a small dhaaba in operation and we ate wholesome and well deserved food. The seats of the dhaba were of the trees that had fallen naturally. The huts were all open and empty. The light was fast diminishing as we arrived Manjhi. We camped in the camping area. I was feeling really cold so I went in the tent and inside sleeping bags. Guys put up a bon fire outside the tent and later I joined them to have some brandy. The day was not finished without my clumsiness ruining the fun when I accidentaly broke the brandy bottle which was about half full (or half empty as I tried to convince everyone). Damn the dam!!

Day 4
The day 4 was the day when we reach the destination. It was actually not as exciting as we thought it would be. In the morning everyone took up the activity of relieving themselves in rather depressing camping toilets. Most of the guys preferred to take the jungle route instead of that thing called the lavatory in the camping area. Then we packed up our tents and started our climb toward dodi taal. It was again absolutely beautiful with spectacles like waterfalls, a small temple, wooden bridges, strange flowers which were beautiful but caused acute skin irritation, group of benign chimpanzees etc. However this climb was much smaller than the previous day. We reached there by about noon. We took rest and ate some nice filling food at another dhaba at the venue. It was an amazing view to see such a large lake in the middle on the mountains. Harsh and Kiran decided to go further up to top of the mountain. I saw the photographs later and they looked like from the movie vertical limit. With three brazen souls (along with the guide) in middle of nowhere. They witnessed completely white snow-covered mountains with strong wind. Rest of us mortal soul enjoyed some form of golf that we played using sticks and rocks, just kept laying on the lakeside enjoying the sun. Harsh and Kiran returned at about 4 PM. Kiran was a sight to see in himself, as if he would disintegrate and fall apart any moment. Harsh however was as fresh as ever. We enjoyed the night in the rooms available at a dharmshala there. Next morning we started from there to come back to Delhi. Nothing much to write about, also I'm getting bored so I'll publish this post without giving details about day 5 and day 6.

Kavi and his ego goes to White Castle
.....about getting low by getting high.....

Me sad :(

Inspired from the compliments that Akshat Kaul wrote on my last blog I decided to post something on this page. Then as a matter of habit I started reading the blogs that I follow, to get an idea of what's going on in blogdom. I read a sad news. My lady love on the blog-world got married. Sayesha......Khair, ab to gayee kudi (atleast for 4-5 year, I guess)

I also read two small but very intersting posts by Jaat . In his blog White Lighthe talks about post joint discussions. I also had a good dose of bhaang (Bhaang and dope are in same family, I guess) this holi. It was quite an experience. Thats what I'm gonna talk about in this blog.

On the holi morning I had decided that I'm not going to take Bhaang. I vividly remember last year due to bhaang, my body was trying to collpase and I had to stretch myself all night to avoid my anhilation. Also, this time, next morning I had to go for Ads' sangeet function, so it wont be a good Idea. As fate has it I was completely high by noon. The main problem with bhaang (or dope) is that your mind is working fine but the nerves that control your body are badly effected. So you know that you are in a bad shape but you can not do anything about it. I'm not sure everybody has it but I was able to see myself from a third person's view. I saw myself, how other people will see me as a person. What I saw was not something I like. I realised that I'm a very bad person. I'm a selfish person with hollow morals and adjustable values. I don't want to admit that to myself but thats the truth.

We all men (not women*) live with an illusion that we are at the centre of this universe. No matter how insanely illogical this thought is, but each one us believes so. We are all narcisist. But that's not a bad thing because without this illusion we will not have a logical reason to live. Bhaang that day, was somehow able to remove this layer of illusion. It was the saddest day of my life. I was sad not only because I realised how bad a person I'm, how meaningless my life is but also because I knew that the layer would be back after the effect of bhaang goes away. That's exactly what happened.

*I say men bacause I think women have different illusions that gives them reasons to live. (My hypothesis is that) They live in an illusion of love and compassion. (Much more logical illusion)


That day I drove 25 KM's in effect of bhaang, it was also the scariest drive of my life. But I knew I had to reach home to be able to go to Alwar next morning. Still arranging a taxi and calling up people who would join me in taxi was too much of a task. I just called dad, "Dad I had too much bhaang, please arrange everything" . I was able to do that because I did not had my empty pride to stop me.

Silence took over
.....A poem.....

Ok, now I must post something. I'm facing a blogger's block. Which actually is another way of saying, I'm getting bored of blogging. This is one of many tragic flaws I've discovered in me: I'm never at peace, I keep looking for some changes, I really hate monotonousness. I'm really excited when I'm going to new places and I'm really pissed off if I've to repeat myself. I'm really pissed off right now, because I wrote this post and then I pressed that spell check waala button and it wiped off everything :( . But its not that bad coz I'm writing new things now. I'm also getting digressed.......

I've come back to my reading habits thesedays and since multi-tasking is not my cup of tea, I'm not able to write blogs. Soon, I'll be bored of reading and will come back to writing. Its a cycle which keeps the energy flowing and gives another reason for me to live on. So, since I'm not able to find anything interesting to write and I don't want more hate mails for my last post, I'm posting this poem I wrote a long time back:

A million times I did it over,
like crazy I practiced on the mirror,
wherever I go , whatever I did,
It remained in back of my mind,
And when the moment came,
The silence took over.

I can vividly remember,
That glass-house and that November,
We waited for that unseasoned shower,
I wasted a complete hour,
when the downpour turned to drizzle,
I gathered my courage to utter,
She looked at me with her ever-smiling eyes,
And the silence took over.

The white layout of that ward,
To look at her white face was hard,
her hand in my hand ,
I stared at those ever-smiling eyes,
Suddenly the look in her eyes faded,
as if she got a clue,
I said I love you.
And the silence took over...

Freakonomics
.....analysis of why all smart girls seem to go around with rather bad choices.....

I was discussing with Khemka what write on my new post. Since he is reading freakonomics these days his suggestion varied from weird to outrageous.
'Write about something which is not obvious but is obviously obvious"

'Write about god without talking about god'

Anyways I got the gist of his suggestions. Here's my freokonomical analysis of why all smart girls seem to go around with rather bad choices. What I mean by bad choices in politically correct manner is that generally these guys are outright losers. At the outset I must add there are always few exception to any observation. Please assume, whoever you are, you are an exception.

The theory is rather simple. Essentially if you look at from the perspective of a girl, "which guy to go around ?" is a pure investment decision. Really, its like which stock to buy (retail investor) or which company to acquire(private equity player). In our case analogy of a private equity player is closer, because private equity player takes majority stakes in the company and also gains management role in running of the company after investment. All intelligent investment decision has a very essential rule: always invest in deals which are under valued, no point in going for shares of companies with high valuation. So you see guys which are successful in conventional sense, are good looking and have mental balance are straight away striked off. A Company which is showing growing profits each year, is operating in a lucrative market domain and has good management systems would do well for itself. But its share price is bound to be on a higher side and its rather unlikely that its going to rise any higher. A smart investor looks for sick companies with some potential. A smart girl looks for losers with some potential. A smart investor regularly monitors the performance of the company for some time before investing. If the investor is huge, obviously the company management visits the potential investor regularly and makes presentation on its performance. A smart girl talks (usually on the phone) with the prospective boy friend for hours before committing. After investment this regular monitoring continues and is added with active role in making key decisions for the company.

Well, you might say that same rules should hold true for guys too. And all smart guys should go around with rather bad choices. That doesn't seems to happening. You see there is a fundamental difference in investor mentality. Girls look for long term investments, on the other hand guys tend to prefer short term investments. The perfect investment for a guy would be analogous to day trading. You invest in the evening and are through with returns by next morning. When Warner Buffet few days back said that the market is designed to transfer money from active to patient, he was answering a more deep rooted question of why females enjoy supremacy in the relationship market.

Dead Man’s Chest
.....It’s interesting to see how internal thoughts are manifested in to everything around you......

The conflict with my conscious that I had mentioned in my last blog has been resolved for about 2 weeks now. I’ve given up my seat in IIM Lucknow. The Lucknow chapter is finally over. It has lingered in my life for more than a year now. I’ve been thinking of getting back to blogging, but I’ve been genuinely busy last few weeks. Also like many things in life, writing is a bit of habit, its easy to write if you keep posting. It becomes harder if you become irregular. Today I’m sitting here in pune without much to do, I can take out time to overcome this inertia. I now hope to post regularly on this page, let us see how it turns out.

It’s interesting to see how internal thoughts are manifested in to everything around you. They say, when you are in love, it seems all the literature by mills & boon gang is written with you as protagonist (unfortunately I’ve never been in love & fortunately I’ve never read mills & boon, that’s what I’ve heard). I recently saw Pirates of the Caribbean – Dead man’s chest it seemed to depict my dilemma. Captain was abandoning his ship, black-pearl, on a lifeboat to save himself from the curse of Devey Jones. He looked weak, scared and uninspiring. He lost his hat toward the start of the movie and kept looking for a new hat. He was losing trust and respect of his pirate companions on the ship. His compass which is supposed to show the direction to one thing he truly wanted had gone berserk. He didn’t know what he wanted. Obviously he knew he wanted rum, but that was about it.
Toward the end of the movie he returned to his ship. That sea monster coughed up his hat to him. So he got his hat back. He took out his sword and plunged to fight with that monster. That was a truly inspiring moment that was the only moment in the movie when captain looked the way he is supposed to look.
Now we will have to wait for a year for release of the next sequel to see what happens next. I think I’m in a very similar position I’m back on my ship, I’ve put on my hat back, taken my sword out and I’m out fighting Lestrygonians and the Cyclops and the Poseidon. In about a year time I’ll also know the outcome of this battle. Since Pirates of the Caribbean is a fiction and Jack Sparrow is our hero we can safely assume that he will fight all odds to victory. Obviously I can’t be sure about that in my case.
Anyway, captain goes down with his ship.

Print digital photos
.....about a new startup on the block.....

This is one post which has been in my drafts section for a long long time now. I've been thinking for a long time to write about his startup i-tasveer on my blog page. Its a startup started by a group of my friends. I can not provide much publicity for www.itasveer.com from my blog page which has zero page rank. But, since I've been among the most extensive users of i-tasveer I can sure provide an honest review.

I really liked the simple and intuitive interface offered by this site. The service it offers (taking print of digital phtographs through net and get it delivered anywhere in India) is obviously quite useful but the strong point of the site lies in its implementation. Lately lot of websites have come up for sharing online photos. Flickr being the most prominent. I started to use I-tasveer for this purpose because it was built in my backyard. But later when I tried other established names, I found they are just a bit too complicated for my taste and understanding. Initially I thought why would anybody like to take printouts of photos in computer? Wouldn't they rather see it on computer. It really doesn't works that way, now I'm regular in taking prints and sending them to my parents & relatives. Its just so damn convenient.

This startup was built with a two job model with most of the founding members working on it part time while doing different day jobs. What they have come up is quite amazing and inspiring.


Its good to blog after a long time. My last post on this page seems like a long long time ago. Why the hell such a long break? I might say that lot has been going on in my life. I'm continuously shuttling between Lucknow and Delhi and trying to board two boats at the same time. That's a valid excuse but deep down I know the real reason is something else. I'm having a conflict with my consciousness. I'm carrying a guilt and I just dont want to face my inner self, let alone writing my thoughts in public domain. Some people will argue to write about the conflict and this will help me rationalize. I would rather resolve my conflict and soon I'll be back with a clear conscience.

Mere Pitaji is too good
.....why I think my dad is greatest.....

Yesterday radio was all gang-ho about fathers, some crappy date like father's day or something. All the radio frequencies had that stupid callup shows running. Each kid had a reason to brand his/her dad as greatest, or among the greats, right in that league. It made me ponder. I pondered with Dr. Dorian (Scrubs fame) expression on my face. I came up with following reasons:

1) When most kids were promised bicycles for performing well in exams. My dad promised me a "Riksha" for not performing.

2) These days I'm trying to establish a business setup, it's not easy. If I had a dependent wife and two kids and had I came to new town(Delhi) with Rs. 5000, I guess it wouldn't have made things easier. I guess they were not for him either, I never got to know.

3) About 13 years ago, he was informed by a friend's dad about photogrpahs of some ladies in compromising position were supplied to his son by me. I kept waiting for an uncomfortable speech from him but he comfortably forgot the incident.

4) He is even more forgetful than me. I keep losing keys, he keep losing cars.

5) He brought me a bottle of Black Label from his eurpoe trip, while 'officially' I havent still tasted liqour.

While a lot of kids adore their fathers for doing this or doing that, I simply love him for just not doing anything and let me find my own life (As I'm reading last line again, it is somehow looking sarcastic. I must clear however there is absolutely no sarcasm intended). I think he had given me just one career advice so far, that was when I had screwed up my 12th exams, to join some course at safdarjung airport for being a pilot. I think he was just kidding or perhaps indicating to me how wierd I am allowed to get. I chose a more conventional route, but that was my choice.

I think I got my two most defining traits of my personality from him. One obviously is forgetfullness and other is wit. I learned from him that there is only one right perspective to look at this world and life in general and that is the witty perspective.<< ..... at this point I broke my Dr. Dorian thinking posture and asked myself. Really? Am I really witty? Or so I would like to think of myself? Then I again went in to Dr. Dorian thinking posture, this time with my face on other side. Following incident popped in my head......>> In my car..... bombs was driving. It was fourth day of some test match in which India had scored some 600 odd runs in first inning and then australia had scored some another 700 in reply. We were having discussion about the match, Bomb Vardhan in his usual analytic and optimistic approach explained to me that India can still win this match. It just takes one good over. Proabability to hai. While I was literally furious on how can he think like that, he kept saying Proabability to hai. Since we were stuck in traffic and car's A/C was not working, it became more irritating and discussion just continued. Then he went on explaining how infact australia can also win. Proabability to hai!!. He could see I was running out of arguments for a draw, to change the topic he said, "this seat belt rule should be relaxed in such thick traffic. Come on, what is going to happen? Will the driver bang his head on steering for a very painful death?" I thought over his rather insightful observation and replied "Proabability to hai" . :) <<.......Oh cummon that was witty, perhaps not as good as when hathi once asked my dad "Aap kaun?" and he replied "Rishte main to hum shishir ke baap lagte hain" . But perhaps in a league close by, So get back to your original thinking posture....... >>


One thing that I haven't inherited from him is his altruism. I think he is closest to Gandhi in present times. This might look like an overstatement, but trust me I know him for last twenty years. He really is. He really makes me wonder how can anybody dissolve boundaries between self and non-self to such an extent. To me it just looks crazy. Perhaps someday I will grow up to understand.

Crossroads of life
.....about a dillemma I'm facing these days.....

You keep coming across these annoying crossroads in life and the route you take on these cross roads pretty much determines your life. Today for sake of writing this blog I'm looking back at the major crossroads I faced in my rather un-eventfull and un-important life so far. I dont think I had much say in that pre-life decision of being born to be or not be , had I that choice I most definately would've decided angainst it, but then I guess nobody asked for my opinion. I think the first cross road for which I chose the route was in 1996 when I decided to change school and shifted from one crappy school "A" to another crappy high school "B". Right now, as I look back I dont have any friends from B also I did not gained much from B. Those two years in B were my worst so far, no real friends, no pseudo achievments. I was bullied around and made fun of most of the times. I did gained some basic skills in basketball and volleyball but I think my biggest gain was an absolutely abysmal academic performance. This performance helped me take decision on the next cross road: to drop or not to drop for IIT preperations. I'm quite sure had I performed even averagely in 12th board I would've enrolled myself to some course in some DU college. It was not to be.

In 2003 when I graduated from IIT, there was no crossroad as is generally the case with most of guys at that time. No 'core' vs. 'IT' vs. 'MBA' dilema I just had one job so I just took it. But that year there was a crossroad of another sorts, to go after that girl or not. I decided not to. It was perhaps a bad decision, I would never know. Later in 2004 I decided to go after one and it kind of back fired. Still it was fun.

In 2005 I took a decision to quit my job, screw up all my IIM interviews and start my own company. That hasn't prooved all that bad so far, I like to be the captain of my ship, however small that ship is, however unsignificant is my role in sailing that ship. Actually there was a decision to be made when I got through IIM Lucknow but since I hate to make decisions I deferred that decision for a year. But these screwed up ghosts just dont die. I'm here in 2006 again at the crossroad to go or not to go to lucknow.

My overwhelming love for Black pearl makes the decision intutively obvious but there are few subjectivities involved which complicate the situation, they are:

1) As crappy as a MBA course is, still it very necessary for if the ship sinks and I have to sell myself as a slave.

2) If anyone aborts this ship its probability of sinking is just too high.... and pirates are not be trusted.

3) You can go as low as 50% attendance if you don't care about grades in Lucknow, that means I might be able to actively involved in my company while persuing this MBA thing.

4) If I dont go for MBA I would have to get in to this marrige thing.

5) I had almost taken a decision to try MBA and my company side by side coz I was sure Black pearl's survival, but then a high tide stuck. Our cash cow client terminated his project. When I got this news I also terminated my last blog (Ingredients of a good party) and not been able to get back to it.


Now the question is would I be able to fill up buckets and drain the water out of the pearl while I'm in Lucknow. Even if the answer is yes, is MBA worth this much pain? From a perspective of a hunger struck kid in somalia or champaran does it really matter?

Ingrediants of a good party!!
.....about a rocking party I hosted yesterday.....

Yesterday I hosted a kind of wild party. Today, its rather funny to see aftereffects of the party on all those who attended yesterday. Chummi kee jeeb uske gale main chipak gayee hain however this hasn't stopped him from his charectristic blah blah blah. Varun can not move much coz his back hurts. Bombs was somehow subdued today before diappearing somewhere. I think I've a hairline fracture in my right shoulder but I'm waiting for hangover to go away than I'll think about that seriously. But I am seriosly thinking on ingrediants that made it a good party, perhaps these ingrediants can be used again in the next dish, that would be fun. Let me try to ducument it here for future reference.


People

Formal and Professional people are strict no no. Uptight people should be avoided but usually when party rocks, they cut loose (like me:)). Obviously party time people are made for such parties. Number of people can vary from 10 to 30, after that it becomes a bit of crowd. There should be atleast 3 girls otherwise it would be an all boys party and no matter what, all boys parties are always sad. What about all girls party? Well.....will need an opinion on that, haven't experienced that but as a concepts sounds a bit sad. So atleast 3 girls and atleast 1 boy (1 boy in an all girls party can never be bad, can it? )


Booze

No you can not have a good party without booze. There should be lot of it, infinite for all practical purposes. There should be a bit of everybody's taste, However kind of booze matters a bit only in beginning after a while it all becomes the same. Cigerettes are absolutely optional but should be avoided due to safety hazards. Dope and other stuff.... well, not recommonded for a lively party consuming them requires too much effort and as headline of every stupid paper in town will tell you there are few associated risks.


Music

Music can make any dull party a rocking party and vice versa. Just like refree in good match of soccer never gets noticed similar is with music. Music should be such that you dont even think about it because you are too damn busy dancing. I'm trying to recall I remember gilasi number was played i remember few songs from rang de basanti and perhaps few from bluff master but seriously that coulndn't have carried us for 4 straight hours, there's a huge void. That damn DJ made our party rocking. For first time I'm having respect for a profession which I thought was really lame and I would like to take back all the jealosy I had for all those DJ's who get all the nice looking girls.




Abhee I've to go, rest of the things I'll write later. I just got a sad news. Party is over.

What is a startup?
.....definition of startup, as I perceive it now.....

Whenever anybody starts creating anything ,astounding as it may sound, they are quite likely to miss the first critical step "to define what they are creating". I remember woh basic design course main professor Saha told us about some 5 steps of design, first step was like: brainstorm & define your design or something of sorts. We were like aarghhhh give us a break. We obviously know what we are going to design, it’s a god damn wheel chair, whats there to think over it? Hmmmmm.......may be it was worth a thought, the wheel chair that we designed was supposed to climb down the stairs. It did, but only if nobody was sitting on it. :)

Its been about an year when we started our venture, I'm realizing that we started our start-up without even knowing what a start-up is rest aside what its gonna do. A lot of things have cleared out now. We are still not absolutely sure what exactly we gonna do five years from now, although the directions we are going and alternatives that we have are much clearer. One thing which has considerably cleared for me(or so do I think) is what actually can be termed as a start-up. I think in India idea of start-up is not that well understood, atleast it wasn't to me when I started. We tend to look at companies like google, hotmail, infosys, indiabulls, Bose, skype etc. but never really understand why they were startups when they started? I read a lot of articles by Paul Graham to have an idea of what actually is a start-up, i'll be quoting him alot in this Blog.

Here are few common characteristics of start-up that are sometime confused as definition of start-up:

1. Any new company is called a startup

A new travel agency or a consultancy can not be called a startup[In this blog all text in italics are direct quotes by Paul Graham]. Also new or old can not define a startup, theoretically a company can retain its status of a startup after 10 year of their operation, but usually startup can not sustain themselves that long so this is quite rare.

2. Any new company working on something unique is a start-up

Google was not working on anything unique, neither was infosys.

3. If a company is working on some fundoo product then its a startup.

Well actually thats what Paul Graham seems to think, but I feel thats due to U.S. atmosphere. In U.S. and other developed countries where manpower is not a resource it true but not in India. Infosys was very much a start-up when it started. So was E-value serve.

4. If a group of college friends or work-mates, quit their jobs and start a company then that's a startup

Working with college friends rather than essentially incompetent and useless people in my old office was a big motivation for me to start my venture. Sometime I thought thats the whole point. Well ...... you do require founding members of start up to work well as a team. This kind of team can be well formed in collages or in offices but is not necessary. Almost invariably lot of differences are bound to exist among the team member but they are generally ironed out in under the hot iron of starting a startup

5. If small group of people work in cool unprofessional atmosphere then that's a start-up

Working in cool atmosphere is a thing that improves productivity of its members. Well actually it doesn't but working in a conventional 'professional' atmosphere reduces productivity enormously. In a supposedly professional atmosphere a lot of time is wasted in looking busy and conveying to others that you are working, this time wastage can not be afforded my members of a startup so the startup offices are much casual and cool.

6. If a company is bought by some venture capitalist or some other big company than that's a startup.

It’s a rather good definition but it still doesn't clear out things. Infosys I dont think ever got an offer from some V.C. before loosing their startup status. It’s a good definition coz V.C's are smart people and they inherently know what startups are and why they are good investment options so they tend to buy them.

7. If a company is started with meager initial funding, then that's a start-up

Due to high mortality rate of startups and hence them being a high risk investment this breed of angel investor that mushroomed during dot.com era is almost extinct now. So startups have to start from whatever funds that their founders can somehow assimilate. Also a startup's chance of success is more or less inversely proportional to amount of initial funding, so it’s a good idea to start with minimum.




A startup I think is a company that is developing a solution that is useful for a lot of people. The other important characteristics of that solution is that it has the capability of scaling up practically infinitely.

Skype developed a product that can be used by million of users and obviously expansion does not require involvement of it founding members. Google developed a code for a search engine that is based on grid computing and it can accommodate infinite amount of data on net and still give results in .000021 secs. Core team of Google I feel can still be termed as a startup coz they are still developing many new such solutions which are useful for a lot of people and can be infinitely expanded. Narayan Murthy, Nilkeni and other members of the group developed a system that can provide IT services to clients and they made a system such that it can infinitely expand so it became infosys and they expanded infinitely.

I still don't know whether this is the correct way to put it, but it seems logical and it has helped me align the strategic growth of my company in a particular direction.

How to kill a lion
.....about how my friends, with whom I am living these days will kill a lion.....

Harsh Vardhan's method:

He will challange the lion in squash game, that poor guy will die of embarresment.

Khanna's method:

He will feed the loin with kareena kapoor movies and Himesh Reshammia songs, lion will die with self pity.

Aarti's method:

She has got multiple methodsfor one she would keep calling lion guchoo , muchoo,puchoo or something like that, he will die a sad sad death

or she will make him his brother and keep repeatingbhai bhai bhai only for like every 5 secods.

or she will keep correcting pronounciation of lionsroar , " it is not rrroarr, but rroaaar" . the lionwill die of throat cancer.

or she can always sing kajra re all the way to lion's moksha

Upasna Bahl's method:

She will simply kick him on the balls.

Yeshu's method:

He will hold the lion with his trunk then hurl him ona rock and then step on him. The lion will die verypleased coz he died just after buying a lifeinsaurance policy by ICICI Lombard.

Akshiv's method:

He asked the lion to wait till he completes hiscomputer game. The lion is still waitiing, he is more eagerly waiting for his death now.

Gunjan's method:

She will call up on lion's phone in her freetime........ she would keep talking & talking &talking and not even notice that the lion committedsuicide half an hour ago.

Amit Khemka's method:

He will take care of lion's kitchen and despite eating vegeterian food the lion will die of cholestrol andobesity with in a month

Tp's Method:

He will drink whiskey with lion till lion's liver getdissolved in alcohol. Lion will remain on dialysis for a month before dying while TP is having a drink with some giraffe.

Fear of Corpses
.....about my rafting trip to rishikesh and a deep rooted fear.....

One of the greatest regret of my life is mujhe yeh saali Theory of relativity kabhee samajh nahi aayee. Einstein kee jo layman ke leeye explanation thee (the one in which he compares time spent with a pretty girl as opposed to time spent with your ass on fire) bhee kuch khaas palle nahi padee. Yesterday, I along with Kalia, Bombs & Chumms had this one day long rafting trip to Rishikesh. It was bit different from previous trips coz, this time we took a car and drank beer all the way to the spiritual land and absolute bliss. This time I did jumped from that damn cliff. And this time we did had the good fortune of having pretty girls on the raft, for company. One of those girls was a French chick named Lolita!! Pretty much, as good as it gets. As per Einstein's theory it should’ve felt like an hour, but it feels like it has been a week, since I last came to office.

Why this grave title "Fear of Corpses" for this seemingly jovial blog?

Well ..... I was sitting cross legged in the front if the raft toward the end of the ride. Despite the engaging company, my thoughts drifted toward my last rafting trip. The story is like this: Once upon a time (few years back), I went for rafting with Rahul & Rahul. At about eight kilometers downstream from Shivapuri, we saw a lot of people standing on the left bank of the river with weird expression on their faces (mixture of disdain and pity). One of them called for us and shouted “Abhee abhee ek piyakkad gaya hai neeche, save him if you can”. Guide on our raft refused to go, stating there might be strong undercurrent beneath the surface. I felt a strong urge to jump in to water, but I did not. We waited for about ten minutes and tried in vain to poke our paddles in water. We waited for him to die.
Why the hell did I not jump? Fear of death! I don’t think so; I’m rational enough to understand that in no condition I would have died, had I jumped with a rope around my waist. Later, I figured it was my fear of corpses. I was fortunate in my life till that time, not to witness any death. I had never touched a dead body. I was simply petrified to jump in water and see a dead body staring at me.

I witnessed this fear again, on another trip with family. A maruti 800 car was moving in front of our vehicle; suddenly it took a strange turn and fell in to a ditch. We stopped the car, I ran toward the ditch to find that the car was almost completely submerged in a sort of quagmire. I was again jolted by a deep fear of dragging out dead bodies from that sludge. I was almost completely rooted at that time. A strong built sardarji, plunged in to that ditch, with purpose. Seeing his strength, I too stepped forward. Together, we saved both the lives in that car. It felt good, but I still didn’t come over my fear. This I know coz, recently, a friend of mine, whom I’ve known for about fifteen years died in a road accident. It was a loss, I was really sad. But, more than that I was really afraid to see his dead body. I was almost trembling, as his dead body was taken out from ambulance. During his cremation, I gathered my courage to place his body on pyre, participate in rituals to bid him a respectfull farewell. Right now i don't know whether or not I've overcame my fear. I feel I'm doing better.

On this trip, an intersting thing happened. On the golf course rapid, which is like the most vociferous rapid on the route, one guy (a geman) fell in to river. Kalia, quite heroically pulled him back on raft. This time around I was not afraid, it was all just so fast, it all happened before I could react. I just kept rowing. My fear was not tested on this trip. But it sure was a god damn fun trip :)

Depressing Nonsense
.....views on 50% OBC reservation issue.....

After independence india was ruled in the leadership of Nehru for 17 years. He was a champion of various socio-econimic policies, which he obviously persued diligently during this long duration. At present times after around 60 years of independence and around 40 years after Nehru rule most of those policies have lost significance. In effect what he did in around 20 years has been undone in 40 years.

The only success of the Nehruvian doctrine have been in higher education with institutes like IIT's. All other policies like five year plans, non alignment, fabian society, slight capitalism with state occupying major role and even secularism have been failures. Replacing these ideas with more pragmatic approaches have benefited our nation substantially, this is evident in the growth and attention that India has gained over the last decade. Also evident is the global success that IIT's and IITians have gained in the last decade, which suggests it has not been that bad. OK, few ideas didn't work out but we have something to show from that 20 year long doctrine. Its working out well, its paying dividends in some form.
That is not to be. One success story of nehruvian doctrine is now being threatned with proposed reservation bill for OBC. That really makes me sad. I really want to do something about it. Lekin truth of the matter is appan chahe kuch bhee kar lain ek patta nahi hilne wala. Koi aukaat nahi hai apne jaiso kee.

Karan Singhania ko apne baap se khundas kyoon thee?
.....Rang De Basanti Trivia.....

Karan Singhania is that chain smoker in Rang De Basanti, who somehow is never able to take more than 2-3 puffs from the numerous cigarettes he lights up during the movie.

I believe his character was one of the finest depicted in hindi cinema, to date. Few days back I was having this discussion with Khemka at a CCD. The question was why was is Karan so pissed off with his dad ?
The popular answer is that his dad doesnt gives him time and is trying to implant his aspirations on poor Karan. That to me doesn't sound plausible. Karan's character doesnt needs to be held in arms and told " I love you beta". Also his career aspirations of studying in US is not in conflict with what his dad wants from him. If there is no conflict why is this constant confrontation?

The key scene in the movie is when the Anupem Kher appears for the first time. The confrontation takes place, kher gets busy on phone (Baarat main band waale bhee khaate hain....waala dilogue). Then Karan goes inside and looks at a photograph in his drawer.
Whose photograph was that?
The popular answer(read khemka's answer) is that it was his mother. That to me again doesnt sound plausible. Why would he keep her mother's photograph in drawer and not on his desk. Also that was a photograph of a young lady, if his mother has died that young, why would he still remember her?
Though it may sound arbitrarily melodramatic, I think that was a photograph of some girl he fell in love with and it couldn't work out because of his dad. It seems that the girl was older than him and she herself backed off because of Karan's dad. That's the root of the whole confrontation.
Bhai Wah!! Poori kahani ka kachra kar deeya.
That sounds so clichéd. But, there is a difference: our hero is pissed with his dad but still he doesn't becomes a rebel. He still stays with his dad and puts off his cigarette moment he sees his dad sitting on the porch. His atonement with father in oedipus' terms happens for a higher reason and not for "love of his life". He becomes a rebel and kills his father like Oedipus did for a love much deeper than infatuation or lust.

Does it make sense?? :o

Calvin & Garfield
.....Arbit Bakwaas.....

I was browsing through random blogs,
This guy Tango had an interesting thought posted on his page:
Quote
I have always wondered what a debate between "garfield" and "calvin" (of calvin and hobbes )on the "purpose of life" would read like
Unqoute

Interesting thought...... rapchik conversation hogi, I would really like to hear Bill Watterson's response to this. My take is it would read something like this:

Calvin: Life I believe is a self manifestation of gross futility and overwhelming insignificance without any purpose or meaning whatsoever. All existence is purely illogical and existence of logic itself is debatable.

Garfield: Hmm......how do you then explain the existence of lasagna?

Calvin: Hmm....er... Beats me !

Santa & Banta : Oo chuk de phatte \:d/

:)

Waiting for Tonight
.....about much awaited chelsea Vs. Barca fixture.....

Just two more hours for the huge football fixture of "Barca Vs. Chelsea". Last year this fixture was an absolute stunner. Today, for the whole day I did nothing more than make a list of work that is to be done before my week long deccan trip.
Instead of writing this blog I should try to wind up some work from that list.

Last year during the morning of the match, I had that IIM A interview. I pretty much screwed up the interview when I said "I've been waiting for tonight's match more than this interview". What fool I made of myself in that damn interview, sitting in front of that panel with that :D type of smile.

Yesterday's Arsenal vs. Real match was not that fun. I've a feeling that today's match will also be a let down. Jab bhee kisi ke leeye bahut excite hoke wait karo, it always lets you down.
Yesterday I also went for a Ghulam Ali show, it was also a let down. Ustad sang only two songs which I had heard before. However bad you sing there is no fun in music concert if you can't sing along.

Today i was having lunch at HFC with usual ppl, I made a comment which I think is worth writing. "Those who have girlfriend(s) usually have lot of problems. Those who don't have just one problem: "Damn! I need a girlfriend"" :)

One hour fourty five minutes left.
ta ta

Keertan Rock Concert
.....about music and unified theory.....

The best part of having your own business is that you can pick your weekends.Today, on saturday, I'm here in office after my weekend break at home. With Pitashri's guruji visiting home, it was a kind of spritual break.

I attended a keertan yesterday. Despite my best efforts I could not make any sense of the lyrics the lead singer was singing, for me it was like a rock show. I could not help, but notice the similarities. Much like rock, music was prominently based on beats. Mridang & cymbals together produced distincly evident sound, very similar to that of a drum. There was definately a bass guitar type background sound. I'm not sure where it was coming from, perhaps it was the ghurrr ghurrrr disturbance from the loudspeaker system coz it was played in a room much smaller than it is meant for.

Headbanging started soon enough. Initiated by some babaji type people who were most definately high on hashish. And I've reasons to believe that they did go out for mid performance round of grass. Then they were joined by those awkward uncle jee's who were trying to get in to the 'rock club'. Some popular numbers were greeted by audience with wild roars, special effets were added on those numbers with some people throwing rose petals on audience. The saffron dress code definately looked better than those black eminem t shirts. By the end of the performance the whole crowd was dancing and head banging. And it wasn't like the "shadi dance" in which people keep pulling each other on dance floor with the motto "you cant stand in the corner, while I make fool of myself".

I had the feeling which I always have when I attend a rock show, feeling of pity on myself for being unable to appreciate the music and let my hair down to the beats of the drum.

Comments on "How to do something you like?"
.....comments on an article by paul graham.....

"How to do something you like?" is the latest post on the blog page of Paul Graham.
This guy is has an amazing clarity of thoughts, its a delight to read him. I'm sure, if he publishes a book compiling all his articles that would be an instant best seller. Thats the reason I keep visiting his website and quickly read any new post before he decides to publish them and removes from the internet {Waise now as I'm thinking over it, I'm realising that's a really stupid botheration in this age of open source}. Anyways in the article he explains why most people are not able to do something they like despite the fact that its most obvious thing to do.

He talks about three powerful forces leading us astray. The first is the conditioning that we get from childhood that work is supposed to be pain. My inherent lathargy and reluctance to work in general on painful and boring stuff has saved me from this conditioning. The second force that he mentioned was money. It sure is a powerful force but since I'm working at a job which pays me much less than what I can earn otherwise, I think this force hasn't affected me much either. This I believe is due to my upbringing in an environment in which money was treated the way it should be. It was not something which was very important, neither it was something which was to be treated with disrespect. It was just a thing to buy food, clothes and video game coins. The third thing he mentioned was prestige. Well prestige does have its effects on me. Sadly, I do think about what other people will think about what I'm doing. That's the reason I've not been able to take singing classes despite a deep desire to be able to sing aloud without feeling embarrassed. He defines prestige as consideration of what people other than your friends will think. As I'm writing this blog I'm thinking what some random person reading it, will think about me. Mr. Shishir Gupta get this phony prestige thing out of your mind.

One thing that Paul mentioned in his article was really heartening; if you don't know what you like then that's not such a serious problem. What the hell do I like? I remember myself, in my early teens arguing with my mother why being a movie director is not such a bad career choice. That's one job that has fantasized me since childhood. Later in my life when I realised, other tertiary advantages of the job, like casting couch, that further added to the charm. Lately I've felt that had I been born around Manchester or in Brazil I would have been a professional footballer. People who have seen me play will find this really funny, but the fact of matter is that I really enjoy it. I started very late, when I was already 22 or something. I feel that in the limited time that I have spent on football field, I've learned alot. I'm at the right places in the ground at the right time, I've developed decent ball skills, I can run fast with the ball. The most important thing is that I really enjoy playing. But who doesnt? Every other person would like to be a movie director/footballer/fly jet planes.

I don't think I've met anybody in my life so far who genuinely loves his job. May be Anjum Rajabali, the scriptwriter I met did, but he took his time and did lot of ping pong thing in his career to finally get on to scripting. I thought KD really did, reading his blog I realised that he is also searching. The suggestion made by Paul that early in life you should choose a job that enables to do a lot of things, makes a lot of sense. I felt really happy for my current choice after reading the article. In a startup company there's lot be done and you can choose what would you like to do. Had I continued with my job or gone for MBA that would have been really sad. Hurrrah.. I made a right choice, and I'm not doing bad compared to people I've known :). Articles by this guy has always this elating effect on me. He kind of validates my attitude toward life, which I myself would never be able to do.

My First Blog
.....why I'm getting on to blogdom and other related issues.....

What sense does it make? The blogging thing?
What purpose does it solve?
If you have to write why not on a word processor and keep it in your hard disk?
I think these were the questions that kept this phenomenon of blogging from catching up, much before than it actually did. Its imperative of every blogger to answer these questions (to himself atleast) before start posting. My answers are not philosophical, they are more to do with convenience.

1. It's so damn easy.
2. I'm of the kind who like to travel light in the journey of life. Species of my kind like to keep minimal load attached to us. This web thing is a real blessing; a lot of stuff collected during the journey can be kept virtual.
3. I would have to write well, with proper thought and all. Its there for everybody to see, I need to cover up my stupidity with proper rhetoric.
4. It's a nice timepass. Vella that I am, it gives me something to be occupied with (something i like)
   

That was cool. I came up with good unambiguous reasons. Perhaps not in the right order, but I think they are more or less the top 4 reasons. Writing does make your thoughts clear.

What would I blog about?. I think the title 'phatte' of the blog does gives some clarity on what I intend to write. The fact of the matter is that whatever I write, I would like to be read. There is no real fun in writing if people are not willing to read you. Easier said (read written) than done. Other than that I can not decide anything. I believe that decision should be made only when there is no other choice but to make one. Its like a corollary to "Don't fix it, if it ain't broken". This is one of the golden rules of my life.

Why 'cacofnix'; well that’s becoz of one my other golden rule, which says “ Use cacofnix as a web identity, wherever a login is needed”. It’s not that I’m a paying homage works by Goscinny & Uderzo(I'm just a smalltime fan); neither do I identify too much with the character cacophonix (I just sing like him). The thing is that either my given name is very common or there is one particular bastard by the name of Shishir Gupta who has taken up login at around 300 terabyte data on world wide web. Whatever is the case now I don’t even bother to try out permutation and combination of my name, I simply resort to cacofnix to save time and energy.

Why am I answering all these non essential and un-interesting questions? They are more to get me moving and start posting.

Chalo then, bie byes.